I want to discuss my life after awakening, what it felt like, the aftermath and the vast altering of perception within space.
But first, I’m going to take you back to the very start…
The stillness, the spaciousness.
My life after awakening
That day about seven years ago, when I “woke up”, what it actually felt like, was that my mind blew a fuse. It got really quiet. Until that moment, the things that had shape and meaning became space – empty space. Instead of seeing the wall of my bedroom, all I could see was a choice. I could only see a choice to see all this space as a wall. Intuitively, I could see a deep collective history of choice that this particular space will be seen as “wall”.
I literally became primarily identified as the vast space that is every thing’s essence. Inevitably, space became my foreground and still is, so many years later. The filter that turns that space into forms, like walls and such, was not in operation. My mind blew a fuse. No better way to know what exactly “mind” is than to have it suddenly shut off. Without the filter of the mind…space. All space. But, the space has movement. The movement feels like love – is love. At the quantum level, the movement of space, the source of all forms, creates love.
The movement of love
And love too has movement, that movement becomes what we feel and know as form. All the forms of our universe from human atoms to the galaxies. And also, curiously, all this space can be aware of itself. No thing is aware of space, only space exists, aware of space. Nothing separate from itself, the heart of all forms only noticing the heart itself. Space is aware. Weird.
Simply put, my experience of being “awake” and particularly, post-awakening, means awareness is primarily aware of itself first and identifies as form in a very distant second. Odd. For some time, all the forms shaped out of space were very much in the background. Yet these forms are not distinct from the space. We don’t need to get into that just yet…No need to blow the mind all at once. ‘Cuz I’ve been there, done that and it’s not terribly comfortable.
One could say: “The boundary condition of the universe is that it has no boundary.” The universe would be completely self-contained and not affected by anything outside itself. It would neither be created nor destroyed. It would just BE. -Stephen Hawking, A Brief History of Time Ch 8.
All in all, embracing the space, sitting in the vast stillness, conversely that’s where we find ourselves dancing with love. Free Your Mind is the course I designed to learn the steps of this dance and begin to unravel resistance in your life.
You may have noticed there is another way to bust up the Kharma…by living a total chaotic mess. Sometimes you just can’t catch the suffering…
Six years ago I died. I died into a bliss. In a moment, sitting on the bed, changing shoes for a date, and suddenly I…