The last few weeks I have had the privilege of being jarred awake in the middle of the night by an obnoxious pain body. I’m privileged, usually my inner landscape is easy and peaceful, so pain bodies stand out and I can catch them quickly. So when a badass pain body rips through, its obvious. However, its is still a challenge to wake up, turn on the light and get out of bed to deal with it. The illusion that somehow this middle of the night anxiety will just go away, gets its hooks into me too! And the idea that I will drift back to sleep because I have an early morning and a lot on my plate for the next day…is equally alluring!
‘Cept I don’t actually fall for it. I know very well, that if I do not get up, turn on the light and get myself into a position to attend to the pain….that painbody will keep up its tourchourus thoughts and keep feeding on itself into the daybreak. Leaving me the next morning, a full hot mess.
So I get up. And I sit on my cushion and I disregard the treacherous thoughts, I pierce through the emotional veil to find the jarring, acute pain radiating somewhere in my body. And then I hold that pain in a very tender embrace. Willing to hear it, willing to let it express itself, willing to be the love that will finally touch the pain. And that is all it ever wants…even though every thought is telling you otherwise! Which is why its essential to disregard every thought. And in the middle of the night…this is not an easy task…those of you with small children can attest to this! So, I use music. I put on my playlist…songs that feel like I am being held in love. Music is so beautiful because it just cuts to the chase. I am privileged, because I can access a huge amount of bliss and presence at any moment… If that is not the case for you, I suggest you get in the habit of calling your pain body by name, knowing its pain and not reality is essential for the middle of the night where the stories seem so darn real. I strongly suggest you get out of bed, and put on some music or mediation to help you get out of the trance of a pain body, ( I have a great meditation I made for you guys just for this purpose, its filled with presence ..Click here: Awareness…) Those big jarring ones, or even those subtle just slightly uncomfortable discontented ones can eat away your night feeding on you, leaving you weathered the next day. The bonus of getting out of bed and actively dealing with the root cause is that even if you never make it back to sleep, you will have spent the night in a loving embrace, clearing some pain…way better than being jostled by aggressive stories, eating away at you for the duration….
Pain bodies love the middle of the night, its their favorite time to prey on you…your not conscious, your not busy, your not willing to be distracted from their viciousness by work or kids or chores, basically your all theirs! Don’t buy it dudes…step away from the desire to just lay there and let it feed. Get up, turn on the light, and take some time to unwind at the roots.
Here are some classics from my middle of the night playlist:
(you can also find more at the bottom of each blog post!)
Warm Love: Van Morrison
In the Garden: Van Morrison
Tupelo Honey: Van Morrison
At the End of a Perfect Day: Chris Du Burgh
Long Time Sun: Snatam Kaur
Sunshine: John Denver
Morning Has Broken: Cat Stevens
Wild Mountain Thyme: James Taylor
Crazy Love: Van Morrison ( yup…big fan!)
Here come the Sun: Nina Simone
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