Last summer, while leading a training session for my Mastery Class community, I spent a few days going into great detail with them about red love versus blue love. Essentially, I was talking about loving from fear and attachment, which I call red love (and which is clearly the main form of love on this planet), versus loving from joybody or freedom, which I call blue love.
That community found inspiration in those chats and unanimously asked me to write a book about this. And so, in stolen moments here and there, I’m slowing penning a few chapters.
Here is part of what’s been rolling around in me lately. I’ve been thinking about a lovely term that some New Yorkers I recently met introduced to me: monogamish. It means, “primarily monogamous, but could be open given the right circumstance.”
I am not a person who is going to stand on principle when it comes to falling in love. Love wins in my book. I will, however, be very, very clear; I will move very slowly and be certain there will be no harm. Meaning I can’t sign off on non-consensual elements or persons, and I can’t move towards or away from love and sex because of elements of fear.
So, what is infidelity? What is monogamy? And why are they so deeply connected? Are they deeply connected?
I don’t really know if we can define infidelity by a single act of transgression. I mean, what defines a transgression? Looking at porn? Chat rooms? A happy ending at a massage? An emotional connection with sexual undertones at the office, or the coffee shop? A close friendship with an ex-lover? Re-engaging with an ex lover and creating a powerful emotional connection? Having a deep emotional connection with a hot friend that you can’t share with your primary partner? Hot sex with a secret someone your primary partner knows nothing about, but only in your head?