Okay, fessing up here…
There is a really big setup happening. And its hard to talk about this “set up” . It’s tricky territory…
Does this sound familiar?
“Emptiness is all there is!” or something like that….
When I get comments and e-mails and they resonate with this, I break out into a rashy irritation.
Because my friends: Its a set up….
It is such a celebration to have a “realization” as I call them. Genuinely amazing. And I am very aware of how final and compete the “realization” can feel. That deep insight of a realization is so delicious, and pure and wonderful… And everything gets so clear…and perfect and aligned and peaceful. But then this habit to exclaim from the roof tops, and trump every conversation with your “realization’ is the beginning of a rather horrible set up. Its innocent, and natural and it is such an invisible trap.
A realization is like getting to the ball park, at the opening stadium where all the excitement is. And there can be so many juicy realizations…such a beautiful thing. And the first major setup is that a realization can authentically feel like your playing ball…but your not even on the field yet. But that’s the thing, it feels like you have arrived, which is awfully painful when it stops feeling so expansive and juicy a few days, months, or for some lucky/unlucky folks, years later. See: Jeff Foster: 10 years here! A genuine glimpse feels so free and amazing and then that catapults us towards the other setup….its so easy to imagine the whole journey towards enlightenment and beyond enlightenment..will be just like one massive hit of realization. Endless juiciness…or how does it go….eternal happiness and bliss... Some crap like that. And then, after that first real peek, there is no turning back!
The big setup is that now you’re in the park…its so easy, so innocent to get single-mindedly focused. And now, once you’re in the park, everything in your life becomes focused on playing ball!
The game, in my analogy, is the full enlightenment…what I define as completely waking up from mind, from emotion, from body. And that is a very, very different experience than a realization. Ironically, It not juicy or emancipating or expansive. Its much more bloody and traumatic. Its filled with disorientation, profound fear, and the deepest unknown. Its your life falling apart, as in completely falling apart. It usually entails a substantial break with your family or community. It can be profoundly isolating, and ultimately, its your death. And its freedom and bliss. And its liberation and fulfillment. But its a complicated dance. And you don’t know until your there….And this is also a set up, because each step that you are not there….feels so much like your so close…almost there or maybe you are there…and perhaps If you just get an genuine enlightened person to confirm it, you’ll be able to settle a bit more. And that’s the unfortunate territory of this great set up.
And then to say, hit a home run, is what I call beyond enlightenment or, embodiment. That is when the community and family and world comes back, but none of the old ways of living embody it. No one embodies it. Instead a timeless, present unknowing, creates this very worldly expression moment to moment. And that is a long road, a very long road. Its a very thorough passage. Every pattern including every habit, every muscular impulse, even your DNA gets wiped out and re-forms. This is not a smooth ride either. This is actually the most arduous part of the journey….and currently on this planet, very, very rare. I have see it look like 2 years in substantial injury and then 2 years of living homeless on the street followed by 6 more years of instability. I have seen it look like 3 years of profoundly debilitating illness then 3 years of slowly rebuilding health and vitality and 15 more years before balance is found. It can look like a divine partnership and divine business and divine health for 5 years and then it all crumples and falls to unbearable lows. Personally for me it was 2 years of almost complete non-functional mess, followed by 3 years of disorientation and trauma, and another 2 years of profound rigor with periods of fairly extreme isolation. And as my friend and mentor Adyashanti has commented….my personal journey of unfolding was actually moving at light speed!
It is a very extreme and arduous and long path of breaking down and rebuilding. With unimaginable lows and highs and time outs. Ironically, there is no one there at all to move through it. Nobody, in pure bliss, moving through pure hell. And well, perhaps a few more highs and much more lows. It is not at all like the sales pitch of unlimited bliss and permanent happiness. And also it is….its complicated.
And the biggest set up in the whole gambit is the very innocent idea that, say, hitting a home run, or being in this game, is the ultimate experience for a human. The way to end all the pain and suffering in your life. The highest possible expression.The only way we can be free. Which is so innocent because it sure can feel that way, because those insights are so darn juicy…but woven into that feeling is the set up to become profoundly, single-mindedly, focused.
The good news is that there is a ton of other ways to live a peaceful, fulling and free life. Pretty much as many ways as there are unique and authentic expressions of each one of us. We can emancipate our pain any number of ways…..via healing, and awareness, and especially a willingness to find our authentic voice and move in our authentic rhythms. Even just a willingness to put in the time to tenderly hold the pain inside of us and let it unwind some, can get us to a much more satisfying life experience. There are many ways. Say for instance, your own authentic voice and action and story, your own beautiful face and body.
And that can become so very obscured when your so singly focused on the ballgame…and hooked by an innocent interpretation that freedom, ultimate freedom, is the only option to ease your suffering. Its not so easy from this point of view to notice other simple ways to get a peaceful ride.
Sure, some of us play the game, and hit home runs…and that is totally awesome. But its not necessary or essential for you to be free and happy. Or for you to be awesome.
You got to watch out for the set up…
Watch out for the measurements, the comparisons, the deeply held assumption of
some kind of hierarchy that puts enlightenment at the top….!”
One fully experienced realization, and its easy to think..that playing this game and hitting home runs is something everyone should aspire towards, that its the highest expression and Blah, Blah, Blah!
Realizations rock.. they inspire and emancipate and reveal and its great!. But once you have one, you start to get hooked…. You start to single-mindedly look for those bliss-filled silent spaces, following some idea that you will eventually dissolve into one permanently…or something like that. And if you don’t see the set up, you start racing unconsciously for this single-minded goal, for the home run and then tragically you start to miss the greatest moments, the moments in your life right now. Your own unique expression of love, of freedom, of peace. Your own unique dance with love, life…pain and pleasure. Its so easy to miss…because of the setup..
Need some clarity ? Click Here: Private consultations with Kiran.